"My Online Chinese Trinket Shop FAILED"
Written by: Buck 65 is a Motherfucker
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Once upon a time
There was a small pile of excriment on the floor
.
This was in
in
America, a land of strange ironies and apathy
and one day,
FOX News analysts were discussing how Obama
was
leading the entire world to ruin, not Bush
when
your mom's penis was
causing horrid Tsunami waves, earthquakes and
some Republicans became Libertarians out of spite
.
A seeping, sleepy kind of miserable depression
and
general disregard for fellow man began growing
and suddenly
people were murdering each other in the streets
and pretty soon i got a massive erection
.
Perhaps that was a solution within itself
because all of humanity is doomed
and
feeling groovy
.
"Light me on fire while I slit my own throat,"
said
a despondant Barbara Bush who had somehow survived
.
Her sons watched her burning, bleeding body flail
as they ate steak-ums wrapped in tortillas
.
George and Jeb vowed to end it all in a bloody
mutual homosexual incest suicide 69-sex gun circle
.
Of course FOX News was on hand to spin the event
by simply labeling them both as Democrats
.
Time began to splinter and break apart
like threads fraying at the end of old, worn rope
and
new, alternate realities spilled into the cosmos
.
Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcet emerged
and
Henry Kissinger was tried for war crimes in 1973
while the Nobel committee awarded Charles Manson
for his famous speech begging for peace in India
and
Ronald Reagan was killed to impress Jodi Foster
. And
the new American currency featured the face of
Buck's mom stuffing a horse's cock in her mouth
.
The end.