Q: Do you mind if I open my mouth while I have sex with my mother's brother?
A: Shut your fucking face, unclefucker!

Q: Can I ram this entire case of uncooked macaroni and cheese right up my ass?
A: I GUESS I SHOULD NOT HAVE RAMMED THAT NUN'S FACE UP MY ASS.

Q: What is that foul smelling brown liquid oozing from your trousers?
A: Exactly what you think it is

Q: What word should be used on American television all the time, especially during children's educational programs?
A: FUCK

Q: Ever hung out with Donald Rumsfeld dressed in drag?
A: Donald raped me once! It was awesome!

Q: Really?
A: Well, yeah... he gave me a reacharound so it wasn't meaningless rape but more like lovely buttsex that I didn't want but got anyway. We both came.

Q: Did you cuddle afterwards? Perhaps in a bed of living, slimy eels? Because that's my fucking fetish right there, no shit. ANSWER MY QUESTION, ASSHOLE. Question?
A: Oh, I like eels! I keep them in my hovercraft.

Q: I was raped as a young boy by my Uncled Sammy. He also then made me eat dog poo poo. How will this effect me in adulthood and is it OK to rape a dead baby?
A: Sorry... you have to phrase your question in the form of a walrus.

Q: Do you have a cute nickname for your father? Maybe one that uses permutations of the word "Fuck" in an amusing way?
A: Fuck Fucking Fuckerton of Fucksville, Fuckdiana

Q: Ever chewed on tin foil?
A: Every day before grinding my nipples with a belt sander. Seriously, I'm a sick fuck. I also eat my own semen. In a sandwich. A balogna and semen sandwich. With cheese.